One Small Post for Me, One Giant Leap (also for me)

Have you ever heard of perfection paralysis? It's a type of perfectionism, but not one many people would recognize as such. See, people with perfection paralysis show their perfectionism by struggling to start a task, because while they feel the compulsion to make things perfect they know that nothing created by mortals will ever be perfect. So, why even try?

The first blog post on my website should be something phenomenal. Groundbreaking. Something that showcases exactly what I'm capable of. Something that shows the world I'm worth its time.

That is my extremely unhelpful thought process. As much as I believe in setting the bar high and going after dreams regardless of how unreachable they may seem, I get stuck at the starting line, like the track is made of wet cement. The worst part is that it can seem logical. After all, why put something out there if it's not as good as it could possibly be?

Here's the problem with that; my skill level is not fixed. I'm constantly learning, always refining my abilities, and just generally getting better. If I manage to make something that showcases 100% of my abilities, it'll only showcase maybe 95% the next week.

Paul Valéry once said, "A work is never truly completed...but abandoned." If you want -- if I want -- to move forward, we have to become comfortable with being imperfect. The hardest part of that is the vulnerability that comes with it. Any imperfection can be pointed out, and that's scary. I tend to fall into the trap of perfectionism by taking the bait telling me I just need to wait or go over it one more time before I'll be "safe".

Safety is tempting, but it's also impossible. Even if I follow every single rule I've ever been given, there's no way I'll be completely safe. Walking under an umbrella doesn't mean you're not going to get wet. Anyway, would it even be worth it? Staying inside all the time might guarantee I don't get struck by lightning, but it also guarantees I won't climb a tree or go swimming in a lake. There are things worth taking risks for, and everyone gets to decide individually what those things are.

For me, producing content is worth the risk. It's something I love to do, and I think I'm pretty good at it. So, maybe this post will look ridiculous to me in a few days. Maybe I'll think of twenty things I could have phrased better as soon as I post it. Maybe that's okay. Perfection is unattainable in this life. I can settle for the best of my ability.